I am the third of four children in my family. I have an older brother and sister (Michael and Meghan) and a younger sister (Matricia A.K.A Matty). We get along well I suppose, but we aren't that close as a family. There's a lot more behind this than I feel like typing out or putting on the web (ask me if you want to know and I'll happily tell you, just not on here), but suffice it to say we may love each other, but we don't always like each other.
Matty has been the most interesting of the bunch. Mom says that when we were little, I tried to be Matty's best friend. One day, I was trying to be helpful and Matty started crying and told me to go away. Mom says I have teased her ever since. Whatever the reason, I'm not the big brother I should be for Matty.
Matty has had an interesting life the past few years. All of us kids have ADD or ADHD in one capacity or another. Matty can't put things together. All of her actions are disjoint. For this reason, she isn't to happy with my mother (who is the disciplinarian in the family). Matty doesn't understand that her actions have consequences; all she knows is Mom is grounding her for something and it's just not fair.
Matty is also the youngest child, so she has a lot to live up to. We live in a small town and the teachers have (almost) all been there forever and so had us older three in class. Michael was good at sports. Meghan was smart (although lazy and often didn't turn in assignments) and musical. I am probably (in all reality) the smartest and most athletic of my family. I am also fairly musical (Meghan was accepted into the IWU chorale and was going to major in music before she decided to get married and have children instead....) and outgoing. In Matty's eyes (and in her own words) I'm "the perfect older brother who I have to try to live up to. It's just not fair." I also get along much better with my mother and father than she does which reinforces the idea that I'm their favorite in her mind. It's an interesting relationship.
Needless to say, Matty and I aren't on the best of terms. About a year and a half ago, a guy who was dating one of her friends broke up with her. A little later, he said he liked Matty and they started dating. The first girl got mad and started spreading rumors about Matty and then everything just blew up. Matty lost most of her friends. This would be hard on anyone, but Matty isn't as mature as most people her age (a combination of being the youngest child, ADD, and possibly being bipolar) and so she didn't know how to handle it. She made some bad decisions and she's had to pay for them.
She and this boy have been on and off several times. (They're off now and I pray it stays that way). He is not nice to her and their relationship (or whatever they have) is unhealthy. It's hard to see it happening and not be able to do anything. What are you supposed to tell an 18 year old who's "hopelessly in love"? And she's not a logical thinker at all which makes it hard for me to communicate.
I've been feeling convicted about my relationships with my siblings for a while and I've been trying to work through them, but I don't know what to do when I'm so far away. Matty has been accepted to IWU, but can't possibly get the money to come. She's planning on attending a community college near home. I think being away from high school and most of her classmates will be good for her, but I don't think it will be enough. The college environment is better than at home, but it's still not what she needs. Matty needs to be in a safe Christain community. She needs to be surrounded by young women who care about her and invest in her life. She needs someone to loving but clearly tell her she needs to grow up and start facing reality. She needs somewhere she can be a part of; to have friends but also be able to contribute to the group.
In short, IWU would be great for her. It's a real bummer she can't come. I'm not sure how I felt about it (I always have trouble sorting through emotions) but I think I was excited about her possibly coming here. It would give me another chance to be the big brother I'm not. Now that the opportunity is passed, I'm not sure how to proceed. I do plan on continuing to pursue this issue, I'm just not entirely sure how....
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Catch Up
So, May Term has come and gone. It was a good time of sleeping, hanging out, playing Frisbee, and going to class (occasionally). I took Fine Arts and it was pretty much a breeze. I ended up with a B in the class because I forgot to turn in my final assignment worth 25% of my grade. I hadn't missed any points up until then. I even had the paper done. I just forgot to submit it.
My dating relationship continued to grow in a healthy manner. Emily and I went down to see her grandmother, mother, and her oldest younger sister in St. Louis, Missouri. It was fun going back there and recognizing places from Spring Break. I met her family and they're great. I had met her sister once before and had been emailing her mother for a few weeks at this point so we knew of each other, but it was good to get to spend a few days in the same house observing them. I learn a lot more about people by watching them interact with others than I do by talking to them. It was fun seeing how Emily's family interacts and how much they all love each other. Emily and her mother are very similar and so the weekend was a great insight into Emily's background and explained a lot about why she acts the way she does.
Emily and her sister, on the other hand, are very opposite. It was interesting seeing them that week. Her sister has/had been dealing with some things and so Emily was unsure how the weekend would go. When we got there, we were pleased to see Leah was doing much better and the days passed without any major incidents. It was a relaxing weekend and I was able to bond with Emily and her family more. I liked it a lot.
Then we drove to my house for my little sister's graduation. That was a treat... We left IWU at 3:30 p.m on Friday. We got to my house at 5 a.m on Saturday (that's with a two hour time change so it felt like 7). We were awakened at 7:30 a.m to the sound of three of my six nieces and nephews running around the house. My dad's two sisters were down along with grandma, and my eldest cousin who has four young kids. My older brother came over later with his kids which made the house all of my immediate family + the inlaws + two of three aunts on my dads side + grandma + Emily and I. It was interesting.
Graduation was at 2 p.m. We stayed for the reception and Emily got to meet four of my closest friends from back home. She tried to get some dirt on me from them but failed miserably. :-) We left the reception at 6 p.m on Saturday, got back to Marion at 4 p.m on Sunday, showered, changed, and got to a wedding by 5:30 p.m. It was a good weekend and a lot of growth took place, but it was exhausting. Emily got to see me with my family and she fit in well, despite the craziness, overwhelming number of relatives, and little amount of sleep. My parents came up and visited last week, but more on the in a later post.
Since then, life's been mostly work. I'm not the most excited about my job, but I don't hate it either. If I picked a job on campus to do for fun, I would definitely work grounds. However, Matthew needs money and Conference Services pays better.... I do get to spend time life guarding which I enjoy a lot, but some days I'm stressed by work. It's not that it's hard work, quite the opposite. It seems our coordinators are always scatterbrained. This is partially because of their personalities, but also just the nature of the job. Whatever the reason, this unpreparedness makes it hard to have a full work schedule prepared at the beginning of the day. This means we spend a lot of time sitting around waiting for a new assignment.
I don't like sitting around. Especially when I'm being paid to do it. When I'm at work, I'm in work mode. I want to be working. Sitting around throws off my "plan" and that makes me stressed and frustrated. I know why things are the way the are, but I wish they could change. It's something I'm still working through.
Emily and I are still dating and that makes me happy. It's been good continuing to grow and experience a relationship with her. I got to meet more of her family last night, an aunt and an uncle. It's great seeing how she interacts with them and how much they care about her. We only got to have dinner together (Applebee's :-) ) but I really like them. Her uncle is a football coach and played Rugby for a few years. We got along great. He's also got a nice sense of humor which doesn't hurt.
Emily and I are also serving at church. We both go to the River and we decided to help with the children this summer. It's been a lot of fun, I really like the kids, but I feel something is missing. I definitely miss worshiping in the main room and getting to hear a sermon every week. I try to listen to something recorded during the week, but it's just not the same. The material is also strange. I think it is good and the kids definitely have fun, but I don't think it's as deeply rooted in Scripture as they need right now. Maybe it's just me comparing it to my upbringing, but I come out of there every week feeling a little.... un-contented I think would be the word.... with the day. Not quite sure how to address this yet. Still working on it.
Hmm... I think that catches up the summer nicely. There will be more posts, but I'm happy with this for now.
My dating relationship continued to grow in a healthy manner. Emily and I went down to see her grandmother, mother, and her oldest younger sister in St. Louis, Missouri. It was fun going back there and recognizing places from Spring Break. I met her family and they're great. I had met her sister once before and had been emailing her mother for a few weeks at this point so we knew of each other, but it was good to get to spend a few days in the same house observing them. I learn a lot more about people by watching them interact with others than I do by talking to them. It was fun seeing how Emily's family interacts and how much they all love each other. Emily and her mother are very similar and so the weekend was a great insight into Emily's background and explained a lot about why she acts the way she does.
Emily and her sister, on the other hand, are very opposite. It was interesting seeing them that week. Her sister has/had been dealing with some things and so Emily was unsure how the weekend would go. When we got there, we were pleased to see Leah was doing much better and the days passed without any major incidents. It was a relaxing weekend and I was able to bond with Emily and her family more. I liked it a lot.
Then we drove to my house for my little sister's graduation. That was a treat... We left IWU at 3:30 p.m on Friday. We got to my house at 5 a.m on Saturday (that's with a two hour time change so it felt like 7). We were awakened at 7:30 a.m to the sound of three of my six nieces and nephews running around the house. My dad's two sisters were down along with grandma, and my eldest cousin who has four young kids. My older brother came over later with his kids which made the house all of my immediate family + the inlaws + two of three aunts on my dads side + grandma + Emily and I. It was interesting.
Graduation was at 2 p.m. We stayed for the reception and Emily got to meet four of my closest friends from back home. She tried to get some dirt on me from them but failed miserably. :-) We left the reception at 6 p.m on Saturday, got back to Marion at 4 p.m on Sunday, showered, changed, and got to a wedding by 5:30 p.m. It was a good weekend and a lot of growth took place, but it was exhausting. Emily got to see me with my family and she fit in well, despite the craziness, overwhelming number of relatives, and little amount of sleep. My parents came up and visited last week, but more on the in a later post.
Since then, life's been mostly work. I'm not the most excited about my job, but I don't hate it either. If I picked a job on campus to do for fun, I would definitely work grounds. However, Matthew needs money and Conference Services pays better.... I do get to spend time life guarding which I enjoy a lot, but some days I'm stressed by work. It's not that it's hard work, quite the opposite. It seems our coordinators are always scatterbrained. This is partially because of their personalities, but also just the nature of the job. Whatever the reason, this unpreparedness makes it hard to have a full work schedule prepared at the beginning of the day. This means we spend a lot of time sitting around waiting for a new assignment.
I don't like sitting around. Especially when I'm being paid to do it. When I'm at work, I'm in work mode. I want to be working. Sitting around throws off my "plan" and that makes me stressed and frustrated. I know why things are the way the are, but I wish they could change. It's something I'm still working through.
Emily and I are still dating and that makes me happy. It's been good continuing to grow and experience a relationship with her. I got to meet more of her family last night, an aunt and an uncle. It's great seeing how she interacts with them and how much they care about her. We only got to have dinner together (Applebee's :-) ) but I really like them. Her uncle is a football coach and played Rugby for a few years. We got along great. He's also got a nice sense of humor which doesn't hurt.
Emily and I are also serving at church. We both go to the River and we decided to help with the children this summer. It's been a lot of fun, I really like the kids, but I feel something is missing. I definitely miss worshiping in the main room and getting to hear a sermon every week. I try to listen to something recorded during the week, but it's just not the same. The material is also strange. I think it is good and the kids definitely have fun, but I don't think it's as deeply rooted in Scripture as they need right now. Maybe it's just me comparing it to my upbringing, but I come out of there every week feeling a little.... un-contented I think would be the word.... with the day. Not quite sure how to address this yet. Still working on it.
Hmm... I think that catches up the summer nicely. There will be more posts, but I'm happy with this for now.
Gobbledygook In My Head
So it's been a very long time since I last posted (63 days if you're really interested). A lot of it has been laziness, but some of it has been inability to focus. I sat down a lot of times these past two months to write a post and all that came out was a jumbled mess. Instead of posting them (I think I was embarrassed or ashamed that my blog posts weren't as witty or well organized as those of my followers...) I deleted them and went to bed. However, I've recently decided blogging is a good activity for me because it causes me to focus on events and reflect on my feelings.
All of this to say, I'm going to try and catch up with the summer in a series of posts. It may be three or four. Maybe more. We'll see. Sorry for the mess of notifications.... :-p
All of this to say, I'm going to try and catch up with the summer in a series of posts. It may be three or four. Maybe more. We'll see. Sorry for the mess of notifications.... :-p
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