I've felt really strange the past week and a half, like I've just been floating through life and not really experiencing it. I've had quite a few thoughts going on, but none of them have come to full fruition yet. I'll update them here soon, I'd just like to make a little more progress with them first.
I said slouch because I feel like that's what I've been doing with life right now. So, I've decide to straighten up, in multiple senses. Most of it has to do with disciplining myself in emotional, physical, and academic ways. However, I've noticed that my posture has been getting worse lately so I'm going to be working on that as well. No more slouching.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
In case you were keeping track, this post puts me back at even.
For the past few years I've wanted to get a different bible translation. It's not that I don't like the NIV, I just wanted a different perspective. I ended up buying a version of The Message that was on sale because one of the corners was bent. I started reading it and didn't like it at all (I'm not sure where I opened to). I put it down and kind of forgot about it.
Last week, I picked it up again and opened to Psalms and Proverbs. I LOVE Psalms and Proverbs in The Message. I've begun to appreciate the entire translation more, but those two books are definitely my favorite. I didn't have a lot to write about, I just felt like sharing some of my new-found favorite Proverbs with you. I hope you enjoy them:
15:15 "A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song." (Perspective)
15:20 "Intelligent children make their parents proud; lazy students embarrass their parents." (Oopsies...)
15:32 "An undisciplined, self-willed life is puny; an obedient, God-willed life is spacious." (Stop calling me out Solomon, I'm really not appreciating it right now.)
16: 1-3 "Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word. Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; God probes for what is good. Put God in charge of your work, then what you've planned will take place." (Grrrr....)
16:9 "We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it." (Dependence huh?)
16:20 "It pays to take life seriously; things work out when you trust in God." (Sensing a theme yet?)
There's so many more I could share, but I don't want to take up your whole day. In essence, God has been speaking to me in a variety of different ways. I'm glad I'm looking, I just need to start listening. I'm thankful that He cares about me enough to keep talking.
Last week, I picked it up again and opened to Psalms and Proverbs. I LOVE Psalms and Proverbs in The Message. I've begun to appreciate the entire translation more, but those two books are definitely my favorite. I didn't have a lot to write about, I just felt like sharing some of my new-found favorite Proverbs with you. I hope you enjoy them:
15:15 "A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song." (Perspective)
15:20 "Intelligent children make their parents proud; lazy students embarrass their parents." (Oopsies...)
15:32 "An undisciplined, self-willed life is puny; an obedient, God-willed life is spacious." (Stop calling me out Solomon, I'm really not appreciating it right now.)
16: 1-3 "Mortals make elaborate plans, but God has the last word. Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; God probes for what is good. Put God in charge of your work, then what you've planned will take place." (Grrrr....)
16:9 "We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it." (Dependence huh?)
16:20 "It pays to take life seriously; things work out when you trust in God." (Sensing a theme yet?)
There's so many more I could share, but I don't want to take up your whole day. In essence, God has been speaking to me in a variety of different ways. I'm glad I'm looking, I just need to start listening. I'm thankful that He cares about me enough to keep talking.
12 guys... 1 room.... God moves.
Small group tonight was wonderful. It's wonderful every time I go. I'm not sure why I'm even surprised tonight. In the beginning, we go over the testimony of any new members. God really moves through those testimonies. Your story is powerful, even if you don't think it is.
After testimonies, we go through a book chapter of the Bible. This semester we decided to read Romans. It has been phenomenal. Tonight we were in chapter 6 where Paul talks about abandoning freedom and becoming slaves to obedience in Christ. It is such a weird concept to us. I think Andy summarized it nicely:
"When we're 'free', we tend to make choices that hurt us. When we submit ourselves to the slavery of obedience in Christ, we free ourselves from the pain caused by making bad decisions. Because the 'slavery' puts boundaries in place, we remove the chance for us to hurt ourselves." What a great perspective.
After that, we spend about an hour talking about prayer requests and praises and then lifting them to God. I always feel so much better when I leave our gathering. I am SOOOOOOOO thankful for this opportunity that my loving Father has given me.
After testimonies, we go through a book chapter of the Bible. This semester we decided to read Romans. It has been phenomenal. Tonight we were in chapter 6 where Paul talks about abandoning freedom and becoming slaves to obedience in Christ. It is such a weird concept to us. I think Andy summarized it nicely:
"When we're 'free', we tend to make choices that hurt us. When we submit ourselves to the slavery of obedience in Christ, we free ourselves from the pain caused by making bad decisions. Because the 'slavery' puts boundaries in place, we remove the chance for us to hurt ourselves." What a great perspective.
After that, we spend about an hour talking about prayer requests and praises and then lifting them to God. I always feel so much better when I leave our gathering. I am SOOOOOOOO thankful for this opportunity that my loving Father has given me.
Friends in relationships.
I've been having a little bit of a hard time lately being able to rejoice with my friends in their relationships. I have four or five friends that started dating about the same time Emily and I did. It's really good to see them all together and to see their love (or like, however they are most comfortable describing it) displayed on Facebook. It's also been good to see two of the guys on staff with me get engaged. However, I often catch myself becoming bitter towards them. And I never want to do that.
First of all, I know they are not doing it intentionally. None of them come up to me and rub their relationship in my face. Second of all, I am genuinely happy for them. It's good to see how God is moving in their lives, both individually and as couples. It also does my heart good to see my friends happy. It's just so hard sometimes to remember to be joyful for others, even as we lament our own situation.
Which brings up another good point. My teacher in marriage and family pointed out something that I knew before but lost somewhere along the way. Dating (and marriage) is a gift from God. That doesn't mean singleness isn't as well. There are things God can do through us while we're single that He can't (well, as easily I guess) do through us if we're dating. There are also things that must be learned as a single person.
So, I'll try to be better about it. It's just tough sometimes. So Mike, Bethany, Evelyn, Aaron, Aaron, Gabe, Felicia, Andrew, Jana, Dan, Erin, and Becca: I really am happy for all of you. I'm sorry if I've ever made you think otherwise. It's good for me to see you happy in relationships, even while it's hard at times. Thank you for letting me rejoice with you. And also, thank you to those of you who have sat and cried with me. It means a lot to be with a body of believers and friends like you.
Haha, I started crying as I typed this.
First of all, I know they are not doing it intentionally. None of them come up to me and rub their relationship in my face. Second of all, I am genuinely happy for them. It's good to see how God is moving in their lives, both individually and as couples. It also does my heart good to see my friends happy. It's just so hard sometimes to remember to be joyful for others, even as we lament our own situation.
Which brings up another good point. My teacher in marriage and family pointed out something that I knew before but lost somewhere along the way. Dating (and marriage) is a gift from God. That doesn't mean singleness isn't as well. There are things God can do through us while we're single that He can't (well, as easily I guess) do through us if we're dating. There are also things that must be learned as a single person.
So, I'll try to be better about it. It's just tough sometimes. So Mike, Bethany, Evelyn, Aaron, Aaron, Gabe, Felicia, Andrew, Jana, Dan, Erin, and Becca: I really am happy for all of you. I'm sorry if I've ever made you think otherwise. It's good for me to see you happy in relationships, even while it's hard at times. Thank you for letting me rejoice with you. And also, thank you to those of you who have sat and cried with me. It means a lot to be with a body of believers and friends like you.
Haha, I started crying as I typed this.
Nathan Milner
is my boss... among other things. A great guy is one of those things. As is a Canadian. Last Monday was Canadian Thanksgiving. He wanted to celebrate it with us. It was fantastic. Among other things, it made me feel a little bad. I've been really whiny lately. Some would say justifiably so, but it still doesn't sit right. So, I wanted to make a list of things I'm thankful for this year. I need visual reminders sometimes.
1. I've been able to attend school at IWU debt free.
2. I have great professors who care about me as a person.
3. I have a lot of great friends.
4. My car (though it may be old) is a reliable form of transportation.
5. My health has been near perfect.
6. God has cared enough about me to draw me closer to Him.
7. I now own a guitar and I'm getting better at playing every day.
8. I have two parents who love me very much.
9. I've been able to play a full contact sport for the first time in 4 years.
10. God lead me out of an unhealthy relationship.
11. God gave me an incredible, 5 month relationship with a beautiful woman of God and used it (as well as the breakup, painful though it has been) to teach me more than at any other time in my life (obviously this is not the same relationship that was talked about in 10).
12. I've been able to join a small accountability/bible study group of men.
13. I have an adult mentor. :-)
14. I've been able to open up and be honest about myself.
15. I have fantastic residents.
16. God has furthered my vision of my life calling.
17. I've been able to overcome most of my inferiority issues.
18. My grades really haven't been that bad.
19. I get to teach 10 - 20 amazing kids about Jesus every Sunday.
20. I finally am a part of a church again, not just a church-goer.
21. I have a wonderful aunt and uncle five minutes off-campus who love me very much and treat me better than I deserve.
22. It's only October... He's not done yet.
There's a lot more, but I don't want to bore you. Also, I need to go on a round and then it's time for small group. I think this post is much more for me than for any of you. However, I would challenge each of you to make your own list. It never hurts to praise God for the wonderful things He's gifted us with. Indeed, it is right that we should do so.
1. I've been able to attend school at IWU debt free.
2. I have great professors who care about me as a person.
3. I have a lot of great friends.
4. My car (though it may be old) is a reliable form of transportation.
5. My health has been near perfect.
6. God has cared enough about me to draw me closer to Him.
7. I now own a guitar and I'm getting better at playing every day.
8. I have two parents who love me very much.
9. I've been able to play a full contact sport for the first time in 4 years.
10. God lead me out of an unhealthy relationship.
11. God gave me an incredible, 5 month relationship with a beautiful woman of God and used it (as well as the breakup, painful though it has been) to teach me more than at any other time in my life (obviously this is not the same relationship that was talked about in 10).
12. I've been able to join a small accountability/bible study group of men.
13. I have an adult mentor. :-)
14. I've been able to open up and be honest about myself.
15. I have fantastic residents.
16. God has furthered my vision of my life calling.
17. I've been able to overcome most of my inferiority issues.
18. My grades really haven't been that bad.
19. I get to teach 10 - 20 amazing kids about Jesus every Sunday.
20. I finally am a part of a church again, not just a church-goer.
21. I have a wonderful aunt and uncle five minutes off-campus who love me very much and treat me better than I deserve.
22. It's only October... He's not done yet.
There's a lot more, but I don't want to bore you. Also, I need to go on a round and then it's time for small group. I think this post is much more for me than for any of you. However, I would challenge each of you to make your own list. It never hurts to praise God for the wonderful things He's gifted us with. Indeed, it is right that we should do so.
Ryan Reynolds
I'm still not sure how I feel about him. I did, however, enjoy his latest movie "Green Lantern." Again, without giving away anything important, an alien race harnessed the most powerful force in the universe: Will. Will's power was harnessed into (I think it was 3600) rings. These rings, using the power of Will, are able to create anything their chosen wearers can imagine. The stronger the wielder's will, the stronger the construct becomes.
As in all hero movies, comics, books, etc... there is of course an opposing force. Fear (makes a lot of sense doesn't it?). At a particular point in the movie, our hero is inches from being destroyed by fear incarnate. The only thing standing between them is a shield of pure will. So how does the villain try to destroy our hero? By causing him to doubt himself (fear that he's not good enough). It seems to be working well. However, just inches from death, our hero begins reciting the creed of the Corp (the group of ring wearers is called the Green Lantern Corp). As he's reciting the creed, he finds new strength and drives fear back.
How true is this as Christians? I think one of Satan's biggest ploys is to isolate us. If he can separate us from our support, he can destroy us or, in the very least, incapacitate us. We are fortunate to have ammunition similar to that of Reynolds' character. The Apostle's Creed immediately comes to mind. And this ammunition helps us for several reasons. I'd like to go into two.
The first is that it firms our resolve, strengthens our will. In the act of reciting what we believe, we are reminded of our purpose. Secondly, it reminds us we're not alone. Those saints who have come before us and all believers who will come after all join in the same faith. There is power in words and even more power in a shared statement of faith. So, the next time you feel alone and incapable, find something (the Apostle's Creed is a good start, but there are many other great statements out there) to verbally remind you that you're wrong. All believers are connected by our Heavenly Father. No matter what lies you're told, this will always be true.
As in all hero movies, comics, books, etc... there is of course an opposing force. Fear (makes a lot of sense doesn't it?). At a particular point in the movie, our hero is inches from being destroyed by fear incarnate. The only thing standing between them is a shield of pure will. So how does the villain try to destroy our hero? By causing him to doubt himself (fear that he's not good enough). It seems to be working well. However, just inches from death, our hero begins reciting the creed of the Corp (the group of ring wearers is called the Green Lantern Corp). As he's reciting the creed, he finds new strength and drives fear back.
How true is this as Christians? I think one of Satan's biggest ploys is to isolate us. If he can separate us from our support, he can destroy us or, in the very least, incapacitate us. We are fortunate to have ammunition similar to that of Reynolds' character. The Apostle's Creed immediately comes to mind. And this ammunition helps us for several reasons. I'd like to go into two.
The first is that it firms our resolve, strengthens our will. In the act of reciting what we believe, we are reminded of our purpose. Secondly, it reminds us we're not alone. Those saints who have come before us and all believers who will come after all join in the same faith. There is power in words and even more power in a shared statement of faith. So, the next time you feel alone and incapable, find something (the Apostle's Creed is a good start, but there are many other great statements out there) to verbally remind you that you're wrong. All believers are connected by our Heavenly Father. No matter what lies you're told, this will always be true.
More than meets the eye.
You may say what you want, but I enjoy the Transformers movies. All three of them in fact. I may not agree with the choice of characters (both of the female leads) nor some of the actions contained within the movies (especially the unnecessarily gratuitous amount of sexual innuendos in the second film), but they do entertain me and cause me to think. It doesn't hurt that they scratch a nostalgic itch as well... I could probably say something about each of the films, but I most recently watched the third movie so that is what I will speak from (I'll try my best to avoid all spoilers for those who have not seen the films and would still like to).
So, how to set this up without ruining it for anyone. As you could guess if you've seen any of the movies, the Autobots (the good guys) and the Decepticons (the bad guys) are once again at war on Earth. One thing leads to another and things aren't looking so good for the humans. In their desperation, they make a decision concerning the Autobots. Optimus Prime (the leader of the Autobots) knows the humans made the wrong decision, but he follows it anyway.
I think God does this with us sometimes. When we're angry or confused, we often make decisions, decisions that are terrible for us. And God (in His love for us) lets us make those choices. He steps back and lets us decide. It sometimes seems strange that this can be true. If He loved us, He would protect us, right? First of all, to not do this would take away our free will, thereby jeopardizing a loving relationship with us. But, there is a second reason as well.
Unfortunately (as I've been learning a lot lately), sometimes loving us means letting us make the wrong decision. We need to see that, contrary to our belief, we don't know what's best for us. We learn from mistakes and from heart ache. Indeed, the school of hard knocks is the oldest in existence and (arguably) has the highest learning rate out there.
The important part of it all is this: once we've learned our lesson, we discover God never really left us. He watched us make the bad choice, but He never abandoned us and, when we ask for help, He's more than willing to throw His limitless power behind us. Could we ask for a greater God?
If you want to see the clip I'm talking about, you can find it here. The particular part I'm referring to starts around the 1:45 mark.
So, how to set this up without ruining it for anyone. As you could guess if you've seen any of the movies, the Autobots (the good guys) and the Decepticons (the bad guys) are once again at war on Earth. One thing leads to another and things aren't looking so good for the humans. In their desperation, they make a decision concerning the Autobots. Optimus Prime (the leader of the Autobots) knows the humans made the wrong decision, but he follows it anyway.
I think God does this with us sometimes. When we're angry or confused, we often make decisions, decisions that are terrible for us. And God (in His love for us) lets us make those choices. He steps back and lets us decide. It sometimes seems strange that this can be true. If He loved us, He would protect us, right? First of all, to not do this would take away our free will, thereby jeopardizing a loving relationship with us. But, there is a second reason as well.
Unfortunately (as I've been learning a lot lately), sometimes loving us means letting us make the wrong decision. We need to see that, contrary to our belief, we don't know what's best for us. We learn from mistakes and from heart ache. Indeed, the school of hard knocks is the oldest in existence and (arguably) has the highest learning rate out there.
The important part of it all is this: once we've learned our lesson, we discover God never really left us. He watched us make the bad choice, but He never abandoned us and, when we ask for help, He's more than willing to throw His limitless power behind us. Could we ask for a greater God?
If you want to see the clip I'm talking about, you can find it here. The particular part I'm referring to starts around the 1:45 mark.
Culture, from a Christian perspective.
A lot of non-Christians I know complain that choosing to believe in God has no benefits (obviously, it's hard to point out what the benefits actually are unless they acknowledge the existence of Heaven and Hell). So, it's something I tend to think about intermittently. The other day I was watching a movie and I think I found another reason. Being a Christian allows us to enjoy movies (and books or really any work of fiction) on an entirely different level then non-Christians.
For example, J.R.R Tolkien's books (and the movies based on them) are some of the most critically acclaimed works of fiction in our present time. As a human being, I can enjoy them on the same level as everyone else. As a Christian, I get to experience a whole new level of enjoyment. I just recently finished a devotional book entitled "Walking with Frodo." The book used passages and experiences from Tolkien's works to teach us something about our Christian lives. How cool is that? John Eldridge, one of my new favorite authors, veritably douses his works with liberal amounts of fiction.
I know the examples I just provided were Christian ones, but, I think this principle can be extended to all works of fiction. I have two such examples I would like to share with you.... In separate posts...
For example, J.R.R Tolkien's books (and the movies based on them) are some of the most critically acclaimed works of fiction in our present time. As a human being, I can enjoy them on the same level as everyone else. As a Christian, I get to experience a whole new level of enjoyment. I just recently finished a devotional book entitled "Walking with Frodo." The book used passages and experiences from Tolkien's works to teach us something about our Christian lives. How cool is that? John Eldridge, one of my new favorite authors, veritably douses his works with liberal amounts of fiction.
I know the examples I just provided were Christian ones, but, I think this principle can be extended to all works of fiction. I have two such examples I would like to share with you.... In separate posts...
I think some of my friends may be ghosts.
One downside about having so few Facebook friends is that I think I've become paranoid about the number. The other day I was on and I had one more friend than I did the previous night. There was no notification saying I had friended someone and, when I looked at the list, I didn't see anyone I didn't recognize. So, I thought nothing of it. Today, the number mysteriously dropped. I checked again and I didn't see any people missing from the previous list.
So, either I'm having imaginary friends or Facebook is making mistakes. However, we all know that the Internet (it's capitalized for a reason) and everything posted to the Internet is infallibly true. Therefore, we can assume the second proposition is false leading me to believe I'm making up friends. Yet, this leads to a contradiction because I know for a fact I'm not making anything up.
Therefore, I'm lead to the conclusion that my friends are either ghosts or ninjas. On the one hand, it would be nice to meet Bruce Willis. On the other, I don't want to be assassinated by one of my ninja friends if they get angry at me. Whoever you are mystery person, I will get to the bottom of this.
So, either I'm having imaginary friends or Facebook is making mistakes. However, we all know that the Internet (it's capitalized for a reason) and everything posted to the Internet is infallibly true. Therefore, we can assume the second proposition is false leading me to believe I'm making up friends. Yet, this leads to a contradiction because I know for a fact I'm not making anything up.
Therefore, I'm lead to the conclusion that my friends are either ghosts or ninjas. On the one hand, it would be nice to meet Bruce Willis. On the other, I don't want to be assassinated by one of my ninja friends if they get angry at me. Whoever you are mystery person, I will get to the bottom of this.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
I thought girls were supposed to be the moody ones.
It's funny how fickle we can be as humans. Whether it comes from God or Satan, I'm not sure (I think it can come from both, it just depends on the circumstances), there are things that can instantly change our attitude. Yesterday, I had a ton of fun with lots of friends at the MAC (Mathematical Academic Consortium) game night. Afterwards, I hung out with some of the guys on my floor. We decided to take a random trip to Kokomo at 1 in the morning to get donuts. They weren't as good as everyone claimed (maybe I'm just to loyal to Karmel McKnuts), but the bonding time was well worth the trip. The extrovert inside of me was ecstatic and it was good to get my mind off of the things that have been bringing me down lately.
Today was pretty good. I successfully evaded homework for five hours, went to Starbucks with Chris to do said homework and got quite a bit done, went to Applebees with one of my friends who graduated and now attends P.T school in Indy, and then played Magic (the Gathering) with Chris and Nick (and won best 2 of 3).
I've been in a pretty good mood. A lot of it had to do with all of the friend time I've had lately, but a good portion has also been because of my re-commitment to my daily, intentional relationship with God. It took about twenty seconds of logging into Facebook to shatter my entire day. It wasn't a bad thing, it wasn't even an intentional thing, but the first thing I saw shattered my resolve.
And that's where I'm confused. I immediately want to say it's the devil. The devil likes it when we're sad, angry, and confused. It very well could have been Satan's attempt to discourage me (and it worked pretty well if it was). However, it very easily could have been God as well. God likes it when we're happy, but He is a jealous God. This easily could have been to show me that I'm still not as reliant on Him as I need to be, that I'm still too concerned about my value to others instead of to Him. Maybe He's challenging me and letting me know (in a not so subtle way) that I still need to depend on Him for my strength daily.
Whatever the reason and Whomever it was from, I'm kind of glad it happened. I'm sad, confused, and hurting, but I'm getting ready to take it to God. So, if it was you Satan, sorry (not really), but your plan backfired. You wanted to draw me into isolation and loneliness, but you only sent me running right back to God's arms. And if it was you God, I'm sorry for being a bad listener and a bad learner. Thank you for caring about me enough to not only break me, but to pick me up afterwards.
I've been thinking about a lot of things to blog about. I wish I had done that before I got on Facebook because now I'm not feeling up to it. But, I know I will be soon, with God's help. So goodbye for now, I promise to come back soon. Prayers would be appreciated regardless. You're all great. :-)
Today was pretty good. I successfully evaded homework for five hours, went to Starbucks with Chris to do said homework and got quite a bit done, went to Applebees with one of my friends who graduated and now attends P.T school in Indy, and then played Magic (the Gathering) with Chris and Nick (and won best 2 of 3).
I've been in a pretty good mood. A lot of it had to do with all of the friend time I've had lately, but a good portion has also been because of my re-commitment to my daily, intentional relationship with God. It took about twenty seconds of logging into Facebook to shatter my entire day. It wasn't a bad thing, it wasn't even an intentional thing, but the first thing I saw shattered my resolve.
And that's where I'm confused. I immediately want to say it's the devil. The devil likes it when we're sad, angry, and confused. It very well could have been Satan's attempt to discourage me (and it worked pretty well if it was). However, it very easily could have been God as well. God likes it when we're happy, but He is a jealous God. This easily could have been to show me that I'm still not as reliant on Him as I need to be, that I'm still too concerned about my value to others instead of to Him. Maybe He's challenging me and letting me know (in a not so subtle way) that I still need to depend on Him for my strength daily.
Whatever the reason and Whomever it was from, I'm kind of glad it happened. I'm sad, confused, and hurting, but I'm getting ready to take it to God. So, if it was you Satan, sorry (not really), but your plan backfired. You wanted to draw me into isolation and loneliness, but you only sent me running right back to God's arms. And if it was you God, I'm sorry for being a bad listener and a bad learner. Thank you for caring about me enough to not only break me, but to pick me up afterwards.
I've been thinking about a lot of things to blog about. I wish I had done that before I got on Facebook because now I'm not feeling up to it. But, I know I will be soon, with God's help. So goodbye for now, I promise to come back soon. Prayers would be appreciated regardless. You're all great. :-)
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Can I get an interpreter up in here?
Recently I've found that I'm good at interpreting God the way I want to. It has come up several times, but I have one example that better explains than the rest. Earlier this semester, I had decided God didn't want me to play rugby. I was a little sad (I do like rugby a lot) but I got over it quickly. Well, at least I thought I did.
People kept bringing it up to me and every time I answered, it didn't feel right. I told them God was showing me that I was involved in a lot of things and it was easy for me to get distracted from what was truly important. Therefore, I needed to quit something in order to stay better balanced. The last thing I added to my plate was rugby: it should be the first to go. That much is true, I heard that from God, but I interpreted it to fit what I wanted.
When I told people, my "not right" feeling was guilt. I don't think we should ever feel guilty for doing God's will, no matter how unpopular it makes us. So, I began to reexamine myself. One of the reasons I had brought up was that I was so busy and didn't have time for one more activity. I was reading through some of my past entries and I saw one where I posted that I had too much free time on my hands and that was bad for me. Now, how could I be too busy yet have too much free time? Someone else pointed that out to me a little while later.
So I began to search and see why I didn't want to play rugby. I came up with two reasons:
1. I hate the discipline required. I know it's important to be healthy and exercise. I know going to practice, even though it's not as fun as a game, is an important part of success. But I don't like discipline.
2. I feared the accountability of the other guys. The team has been very intentional about producing an atmosphere of brotherhood and accountability amongst ourselves. I didn't like the thought of having to answer and get close to so many other people.
And then I just laughed at myself. These are two things God has been speaking to me about for a while now. So yes, He was warning me that I easily lose myself in my activities and forget what is most important (i.e my relationship with Him). So I need to be conscious of how I spend my time and what I focus on the most. But that shouldn't stop me from playing.
This has been a good reminder for me about listening for God's will. Listening, without interjecting my own thoughts and opinions. God knows what I'm thinking and He knows what I desire. Some of those desires are good: He put them there. But some of them are human and selfish. I need to believe He knows what I need and, in time, will show me those needs as well. He wants to give me good gifts, I just don't always see them that way. But I will. It just takes a little time.
People kept bringing it up to me and every time I answered, it didn't feel right. I told them God was showing me that I was involved in a lot of things and it was easy for me to get distracted from what was truly important. Therefore, I needed to quit something in order to stay better balanced. The last thing I added to my plate was rugby: it should be the first to go. That much is true, I heard that from God, but I interpreted it to fit what I wanted.
When I told people, my "not right" feeling was guilt. I don't think we should ever feel guilty for doing God's will, no matter how unpopular it makes us. So, I began to reexamine myself. One of the reasons I had brought up was that I was so busy and didn't have time for one more activity. I was reading through some of my past entries and I saw one where I posted that I had too much free time on my hands and that was bad for me. Now, how could I be too busy yet have too much free time? Someone else pointed that out to me a little while later.
So I began to search and see why I didn't want to play rugby. I came up with two reasons:
1. I hate the discipline required. I know it's important to be healthy and exercise. I know going to practice, even though it's not as fun as a game, is an important part of success. But I don't like discipline.
2. I feared the accountability of the other guys. The team has been very intentional about producing an atmosphere of brotherhood and accountability amongst ourselves. I didn't like the thought of having to answer and get close to so many other people.
And then I just laughed at myself. These are two things God has been speaking to me about for a while now. So yes, He was warning me that I easily lose myself in my activities and forget what is most important (i.e my relationship with Him). So I need to be conscious of how I spend my time and what I focus on the most. But that shouldn't stop me from playing.
This has been a good reminder for me about listening for God's will. Listening, without interjecting my own thoughts and opinions. God knows what I'm thinking and He knows what I desire. Some of those desires are good: He put them there. But some of them are human and selfish. I need to believe He knows what I need and, in time, will show me those needs as well. He wants to give me good gifts, I just don't always see them that way. But I will. It just takes a little time.
Do you believe in coincidences?
I don't. Six weeks ago, when I was distraught about my relationship with God, I got to sit down with a good friend (Kyle Kunzmann). Among many other things, he recommended to me that I read "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. He even let me borrow one of his copies. The book is a collection of short devotionals based on one or two verses of scripture. There's one for every day (kind of like those flip calendars with quotes and stuff). I don't always read it on the day I'm supposed to, but I've done really well (and made up all of those that I've missed). I really felt like sharing today's (it's based on Matthew 11:28):
"Isn't it humiliating to be told that we must come to Jesus! Think of the things about which we will not come to Jesus Christ. If you want to know how real you are, test yourself by these words - 'Come to Me...' In every dimension in which you are not real, you will argue or evade the issue altogether rather than come; you will go through sorrow rather than come; and you will do anything rather than come the last lap of the race of seemingly unspeakable foolishness and say, 'Just as I am, I come.' As long as you have even the least bit of spiritual disrespect, it will always reveal itself in the fact that you are expecting God to tell you to do something very big, and yet all He is telling you to do is to 'Come...'
'Come to Me...' When you hear those words, you will know that something must happen in you before you can come. The Holy Spirit will show you what you have to do, and it will involve anything that will uproot whatever is preventing you from getting through to Jesus. And you will never get any further until you are willing to do that very thing. The Holy spirit will search out that one immovable stronghold within you, but He cannot budge it unless you are willing to let Him do so.
How often have you come to god with your requests and gone away thinking, 'I've really received what I wanted this time!' And yet you go away with nothing, while all the time God has stood with His hands outstretched not only to take you but also for you to take Him. Just think of the invincible, unconquerable, and untiring patience of Jesus, who lovingly says, 'Come to Me...'"
I think it's funny that this should be the devotion I read today. Haven't I been thinking about this the past few weeks? Didn't I just recently begin to understand (although admittedly to a much smaller degree than these words explained) this very concept? God will constantly reinforce His will for our lives. If we would just wait and listen for His words, we would know this to be true.
I think I've discovered what it is the Holy Spirit is calling me to give up. And Chambers is right, I don't want to give it up and I never will on my own. And that's the very reason God sends His gift to us, through His Son (and also the reason He places convictions upon our hearts). So, I've decided to finally give it up. I know I'm not going to be able to do it on my own, but, I'm okay with that. It's going to take a while, but I want to be able to get through to Jesus, so I've determined to give it my best, and to ask His help when (not if) my best isn't good enough.
What's your immovable stronghold? Ready to overcome? I pray that you are. :-)
"Isn't it humiliating to be told that we must come to Jesus! Think of the things about which we will not come to Jesus Christ. If you want to know how real you are, test yourself by these words - 'Come to Me...' In every dimension in which you are not real, you will argue or evade the issue altogether rather than come; you will go through sorrow rather than come; and you will do anything rather than come the last lap of the race of seemingly unspeakable foolishness and say, 'Just as I am, I come.' As long as you have even the least bit of spiritual disrespect, it will always reveal itself in the fact that you are expecting God to tell you to do something very big, and yet all He is telling you to do is to 'Come...'
'Come to Me...' When you hear those words, you will know that something must happen in you before you can come. The Holy Spirit will show you what you have to do, and it will involve anything that will uproot whatever is preventing you from getting through to Jesus. And you will never get any further until you are willing to do that very thing. The Holy spirit will search out that one immovable stronghold within you, but He cannot budge it unless you are willing to let Him do so.
How often have you come to god with your requests and gone away thinking, 'I've really received what I wanted this time!' And yet you go away with nothing, while all the time God has stood with His hands outstretched not only to take you but also for you to take Him. Just think of the invincible, unconquerable, and untiring patience of Jesus, who lovingly says, 'Come to Me...'"
I think it's funny that this should be the devotion I read today. Haven't I been thinking about this the past few weeks? Didn't I just recently begin to understand (although admittedly to a much smaller degree than these words explained) this very concept? God will constantly reinforce His will for our lives. If we would just wait and listen for His words, we would know this to be true.
I think I've discovered what it is the Holy Spirit is calling me to give up. And Chambers is right, I don't want to give it up and I never will on my own. And that's the very reason God sends His gift to us, through His Son (and also the reason He places convictions upon our hearts). So, I've decided to finally give it up. I know I'm not going to be able to do it on my own, but, I'm okay with that. It's going to take a while, but I want to be able to get through to Jesus, so I've determined to give it my best, and to ask His help when (not if) my best isn't good enough.
What's your immovable stronghold? Ready to overcome? I pray that you are. :-)
A little while ago I posted about changing my Facebook habits. I've noticed recently that I'm much more excited to get on Facebook now. I know that I'm going to see things from people that I like and that I'm going to find them quickly. I've seen more posts from some of my oldest friends within the past month than I have in the rest of the four years I've been on Facebook.
So, I'm glad that I'm excited. It just reinforces my belief that cutting friends was something I needed to do. This doesn't mean I'm never going to friend anyone else ever again, but I'm definitely going to be more selective. I'm also going to be more conscience of how I interact with my friends, family, and acquaintances outside of Facebook (I know, I know, it's hard to imagine doing things in real life, but I'm sure I'll manage somehow). All things aside, I have started spending more time on Facebook now that I'm more excited about it. Not as much as I used to, but enough that it may become troublesome if I don't learn to discipline myself, and soon.
As the saying goes... "Work before play."
So, I'm glad that I'm excited. It just reinforces my belief that cutting friends was something I needed to do. This doesn't mean I'm never going to friend anyone else ever again, but I'm definitely going to be more selective. I'm also going to be more conscience of how I interact with my friends, family, and acquaintances outside of Facebook (I know, I know, it's hard to imagine doing things in real life, but I'm sure I'll manage somehow). All things aside, I have started spending more time on Facebook now that I'm more excited about it. Not as much as I used to, but enough that it may become troublesome if I don't learn to discipline myself, and soon.
As the saying goes... "Work before play."
Count your blessings
As humans, it is super easy to complain when things aren't going our way. Today the rugby team played the 8th ranked Division III team in the nation. We lost 22-7. The score, however, is not really telling of how the game went. It would have been conceivable for us to have reversed that score. Our team played super well and just caught a few bad breaks. It was still a great game, but there's always some disappointment accompanying a loss. It was worse for me because I didn't even get to play.
I'm not saying I'm the best rugby player out there (I'm nowhere near that conceited), but I am one of the better players on the team. This has nothing to do with me at all, I just happen to have more athletic experience than most of the guys (thank you, tiny, tiny high schools). I also have more rugby experience (a whole three or four games) than most of the team. It's not much, but it does help. And it wasn't just me out, three of our other veteran players are injured as well. It's hard to think that we would have lost if all of us were healthy.
So I had a little bit of a bitter attitude today, not towards anyone specifically, just at my predicament in general. But then I got to thinking about my medical history. I have a pretty good immune system. I only ever get sick once or twice every few years. I've also got a pretty sturdy body. I'm a pretty physical person. I enjoy wrestling and football and rugby. With as physical as I am, it's no surprise that I often get "hurt." However, I can count the "life-altering" (i.e I couldn't operate normally or at least well enough to seem okay) injuries I've had on one hand.
The first was senior year of high school. I don't like counting this one but it's the only one I've gone to the hospital for. I suppose that's worth something. I was at a track meet and I got hit in the temple with a shot put. I went down but was completely fine. I still had to ride the ambulance to the hospital, get x-rays, and left with a band-aid. Most expensive band-aid ever. (Not really, it was only $2.00 but the whole trip was $600). I don't think I have any lasting side effects, but I've heard head trauma can be tricky, so who knows...
The second was my freshmen year at IWU. We were playing Frisbee in the gyms and I jumped off the wall to jump over a girl who fell in front of me. I landed with my ankle completely sideways. First sprained ankle ever. I wore a brace for a week or two, but then I was fine.
The third one was yesterday and it's fairly similar to the second. I sprained my ankle pretty badly in rugby practice. I can still walk on it, but it's easily the worst injury I've ever had. I had to sit out our game today and will probably miss the one next weekend as well. Even worse, I may have to miss Ultimate two weeks in a row :-S.
But, as I was thinking about it, I realized just how fortunate I am. I've only had three "bad" injuries. The worst of them caused me to limp for a week or two. There are people who spend every day in wheel chairs. Others have to get allergy shots once a month, or carry around inhalers at all times. How silly of me is it to be so upset over something so temporary?
So now, I praise God for my great health. I am far more fortunate than most, and I never give credit where credit is due. Hopefully I can do better from now on.
I'm not saying I'm the best rugby player out there (I'm nowhere near that conceited), but I am one of the better players on the team. This has nothing to do with me at all, I just happen to have more athletic experience than most of the guys (thank you, tiny, tiny high schools). I also have more rugby experience (a whole three or four games) than most of the team. It's not much, but it does help. And it wasn't just me out, three of our other veteran players are injured as well. It's hard to think that we would have lost if all of us were healthy.
So I had a little bit of a bitter attitude today, not towards anyone specifically, just at my predicament in general. But then I got to thinking about my medical history. I have a pretty good immune system. I only ever get sick once or twice every few years. I've also got a pretty sturdy body. I'm a pretty physical person. I enjoy wrestling and football and rugby. With as physical as I am, it's no surprise that I often get "hurt." However, I can count the "life-altering" (i.e I couldn't operate normally or at least well enough to seem okay) injuries I've had on one hand.
The first was senior year of high school. I don't like counting this one but it's the only one I've gone to the hospital for. I suppose that's worth something. I was at a track meet and I got hit in the temple with a shot put. I went down but was completely fine. I still had to ride the ambulance to the hospital, get x-rays, and left with a band-aid. Most expensive band-aid ever. (Not really, it was only $2.00 but the whole trip was $600). I don't think I have any lasting side effects, but I've heard head trauma can be tricky, so who knows...
The second was my freshmen year at IWU. We were playing Frisbee in the gyms and I jumped off the wall to jump over a girl who fell in front of me. I landed with my ankle completely sideways. First sprained ankle ever. I wore a brace for a week or two, but then I was fine.
The third one was yesterday and it's fairly similar to the second. I sprained my ankle pretty badly in rugby practice. I can still walk on it, but it's easily the worst injury I've ever had. I had to sit out our game today and will probably miss the one next weekend as well. Even worse, I may have to miss Ultimate two weeks in a row :-S.
But, as I was thinking about it, I realized just how fortunate I am. I've only had three "bad" injuries. The worst of them caused me to limp for a week or two. There are people who spend every day in wheel chairs. Others have to get allergy shots once a month, or carry around inhalers at all times. How silly of me is it to be so upset over something so temporary?
So now, I praise God for my great health. I am far more fortunate than most, and I never give credit where credit is due. Hopefully I can do better from now on.
Postings
Ever since I decided I wanted to post every night, I've been keeping track of how far behind I am. A lot of times I get really tired by the time I get back to my room and I just crash. Sometimes, I'm not sure what I'm thinking so I don't want to write it down just yet. Well, at least not where other people can see it.
That was one of the biggest differences between my last girlfriend and I. When something happens to me, I like to immediately analyze and come to a conclusion. Emily needed time to mull over thoughts. I could understand why, but it was not something I ever did. Well, until now I suppose. I'm beginning to see just how important thinking things over can be. It gives me time to offer my thoughts to God and get His opinion. It allows me to voice my opinions more easily. I relate to people better.
So, while there is merit in coming to quick conclusions (it is highly possible to over think and over analyze things), I'm going to spend at least a little more time thinking things through. Hopefully this change will become evident in all of my interactions. As far as postings are concerned, I still like the "pressure" of coming up with something every night (it forces me to be intentional), but I'm going to cut myself some slack if I miss a night.
That was one of the biggest differences between my last girlfriend and I. When something happens to me, I like to immediately analyze and come to a conclusion. Emily needed time to mull over thoughts. I could understand why, but it was not something I ever did. Well, until now I suppose. I'm beginning to see just how important thinking things over can be. It gives me time to offer my thoughts to God and get His opinion. It allows me to voice my opinions more easily. I relate to people better.
So, while there is merit in coming to quick conclusions (it is highly possible to over think and over analyze things), I'm going to spend at least a little more time thinking things through. Hopefully this change will become evident in all of my interactions. As far as postings are concerned, I still like the "pressure" of coming up with something every night (it forces me to be intentional), but I'm going to cut myself some slack if I miss a night.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
How are you?
I think that's a question many people ask but never really want the answer to. It has just become another form of "hello." I know I am guilty of it. Of course, with my "close" friends I mean it, but not to the random people walking around campus.
And what about the way we answer the question? We know that (in most cases) the person doesn't really care, they are just trying to be polite. A few weeks ago I found out that my sister is having problems again, my aunt's breast cancer is back, God and I were fighting back and forth, and I was still dealing with emotions from my breakup and people kept asking me how I was doing. Why on earth would I want to give them the real answer? Of course I simply replied, "Not too bad. How are you?" So not a lie, but nowhere near the truth.
God really convicted me of that this week and so I'm striving to do better. It's only come up a couple of times, but God has blessed me through people's reactions. They were not only supportive, but genuinely so. It was a good lift to an otherwise awful week.
So, if I see you around and ask how you are, know that I truly mean it. If you ask the same and you think I'm dodging you, please, don't let me get away with it.
And what about the way we answer the question? We know that (in most cases) the person doesn't really care, they are just trying to be polite. A few weeks ago I found out that my sister is having problems again, my aunt's breast cancer is back, God and I were fighting back and forth, and I was still dealing with emotions from my breakup and people kept asking me how I was doing. Why on earth would I want to give them the real answer? Of course I simply replied, "Not too bad. How are you?" So not a lie, but nowhere near the truth.
God really convicted me of that this week and so I'm striving to do better. It's only come up a couple of times, but God has blessed me through people's reactions. They were not only supportive, but genuinely so. It was a good lift to an otherwise awful week.
So, if I see you around and ask how you are, know that I truly mean it. If you ask the same and you think I'm dodging you, please, don't let me get away with it.
Me me me me me
Last week, a friend called me out on my selfish attitude. I smiled politely and thanked her for pointing it out, but I didn't truly believe her. I'm a server. Just ask anyone. If you need anything, I'm your man. I'll give you anything I own if it'll help you. Need money? Not a problem. And I think (at least most of the time) I truly am doing this out of humility. I've come to realize that's not the kind of selfishness she meant.
I'm selfish in my relationships with people. All people, doesn't matter who.
With my residents: I want to get to know them well. I want to hang out and have fun with them, but I want them to come to me. I told them so. I have my door open all the time so they can come in and hang out and then I get sad when they don't. But do I do anything about it? Nope. Just sit and complain about poor old me. I was talking to my boss about it and he gave me some good advice. Until they feel comfortable with you in their rooms, they are not going to come to yours. Oh, so I need to take the initiative, get out of my comfort zone, and pursue them? Great.
My friends: I want to hang out all of the time and have fun. I want to share stories with them. I want to laugh and play and cry together. Do I seek them out? Nope. (See above). I want them to know how I'm doing and respond accordingly. Do I open up with them so they know the real me? Nope. Do I share how I'm hurting and what I need prayer for? Yeah right. Do I let them know how I feel about the way they respond to me? Nuh uh. Should I expect them to be the perfect friends all on their own without me having to give anything in return? Of course not... but I do.
God: I want to serve God wholeheartedly. I want to have a great relationship with Him. I want to obey Him... but only if He gives me what I deserve. I'll follow God... if He'll make life easier for me. I'll read the bible and pray... if He'll tell me His plan for my life.
And so I've come to realize, I'm super selfish. It makes me want to vomit at times. I know that I have forgiveness in Christ and that, through God's strength, I can change, but it's not going to be easy. It's easy to change your actions, but difficult to change your heart. If you see me around, feel free to call me out: I need it.
I'm selfish in my relationships with people. All people, doesn't matter who.
With my residents: I want to get to know them well. I want to hang out and have fun with them, but I want them to come to me. I told them so. I have my door open all the time so they can come in and hang out and then I get sad when they don't. But do I do anything about it? Nope. Just sit and complain about poor old me. I was talking to my boss about it and he gave me some good advice. Until they feel comfortable with you in their rooms, they are not going to come to yours. Oh, so I need to take the initiative, get out of my comfort zone, and pursue them? Great.
My friends: I want to hang out all of the time and have fun. I want to share stories with them. I want to laugh and play and cry together. Do I seek them out? Nope. (See above). I want them to know how I'm doing and respond accordingly. Do I open up with them so they know the real me? Nope. Do I share how I'm hurting and what I need prayer for? Yeah right. Do I let them know how I feel about the way they respond to me? Nuh uh. Should I expect them to be the perfect friends all on their own without me having to give anything in return? Of course not... but I do.
God: I want to serve God wholeheartedly. I want to have a great relationship with Him. I want to obey Him... but only if He gives me what I deserve. I'll follow God... if He'll make life easier for me. I'll read the bible and pray... if He'll tell me His plan for my life.
And so I've come to realize, I'm super selfish. It makes me want to vomit at times. I know that I have forgiveness in Christ and that, through God's strength, I can change, but it's not going to be easy. It's easy to change your actions, but difficult to change your heart. If you see me around, feel free to call me out: I need it.
Patience vs. Passivity
God has been trying to teach me about patience lately. I thought I was getting the message and doing a great job of it, but several friends called me out last week and I've seen just how wrong I've been. Those of you that know me (which is all of you I suppose if you're reading this) know that I'm a doer. I like being active and doing things. I tend to have little patience for the planning stages of anything. This plays out interestingly in my relationship with God.
I truly want to follow God. I made that decision a long time ago and I mean(t) it. However, I've realized lately that I want to follow Him on my terms. I'll follow when He tells me what to do. Go on a missions trip? No problem. Be an R.A? Awesome. Help teach Sunday School? Now we're talking. So imagine my surprise when I ask, "What do you have for me now?" only to hear, "Be patient."
This is completely against my nature. "I have all of these talents and gifts and you just want me to sit here? Aren't these things all going to go to waste? Couldn't I be more useful to You by DOING something?" .... "Be patient." And even that's not so bad. It's just that God's not answering in the way I want to hear. "Be patient... I'm preparing you for something big in November." "Okay, cool. I can wait until then. Thanks God." It doesn't work out that way. I get "Be patient." No timeline. No further instructions. No insight into the plan. Just, "Patience."
So the past couple weeks I've been patient. Or so I thought. You see, patience is still action. To not act at all is to be passive or apathetic (two things I often struggle with in times of patience). Being patient means constantly asking God what His will is. More than likely, His answer will continue to be the same. However, only He knows the master schedule and when I'm going to be called into action. If I remain passive, I forget to seek His will and risk missing the call.
And so I've pledged to do better in two ways:
1. I'm going to keep pestering God. (He's not actually going to get annoyed with me, but I like the analogy). I'm going to daily, perhaps even multiple times a day, approach His throne and seek His will. But I must remember to do so quietly. God does not speak in the earthquakes or the fire, but in the still, small voice.
2. I'm going to have a better attitude about waiting. It goes against my human nature, but everything that God calls me to does. For that reason, this day (and every day hence) I will choose to be joyful in the fact that I am in God's will instead of grumbling because I'm in the dark.
Kate Cook....
Is one of the first people I knew when I came to IWU. In fact, the first thing I heard at IWU when I checked in for NSO was, "Oh, your leader is Kate Cook. She's great." There's not been a day when she hasn't lived up to the proclamation. Sadly (for me, but happily for her), she is no longer here. But, she does visit on occasion. :-)
My emotions concerning Kate have been all over the spectrum over the course of time. As a freshmen, I was in awe of my fantastic leader. This awe turned (for a short period) into a crush. That too soon passed (not because she wasn't worthy of such feelings, but because I realized I was out of my league and moved on). As I got to know Kate better, I kind of started dreading our interactions.
Kate is a very beautiful person. She radiates God's light at all times and I was often intimidated by that. Even worse, her favorite question is, "How's your heart/ what's God doing in your life?" I had never been asked that before. I was a pastor's son, of course everything with me and God was fine and dandy. Why would anyone question that? (Could you tell that I have a problem opening up sometimes?)
Luckily for me, Kate is persistent and didn't give up on me. As I've matured (and I can confidently say this has indeed happened) I've come to appreciate Kate's intentional nature. When we talk, she helps me analyze myself and my attitudes. Last time she was here, she called me out on some attitudes I had. It was tough to hear, but definitely needed.
And so my feelings for Kate have indeed come full circle. I am constantly in awe of her example of what it means to be a Christ follower. She is one of the spiritual giants in my life and for that, I am glad. I 'm constantly amazed by the people God places in our lives and thankful He deigned to put Kate in mine.
My emotions concerning Kate have been all over the spectrum over the course of time. As a freshmen, I was in awe of my fantastic leader. This awe turned (for a short period) into a crush. That too soon passed (not because she wasn't worthy of such feelings, but because I realized I was out of my league and moved on). As I got to know Kate better, I kind of started dreading our interactions.
Kate is a very beautiful person. She radiates God's light at all times and I was often intimidated by that. Even worse, her favorite question is, "How's your heart/ what's God doing in your life?" I had never been asked that before. I was a pastor's son, of course everything with me and God was fine and dandy. Why would anyone question that? (Could you tell that I have a problem opening up sometimes?)
Luckily for me, Kate is persistent and didn't give up on me. As I've matured (and I can confidently say this has indeed happened) I've come to appreciate Kate's intentional nature. When we talk, she helps me analyze myself and my attitudes. Last time she was here, she called me out on some attitudes I had. It was tough to hear, but definitely needed.
And so my feelings for Kate have indeed come full circle. I am constantly in awe of her example of what it means to be a Christ follower. She is one of the spiritual giants in my life and for that, I am glad. I 'm constantly amazed by the people God places in our lives and thankful He deigned to put Kate in mine.
Happiness/Joy, sometimes it's a choice.
Today has been the best day I've had in quite a while. I woke up on time. I showered. I went to class. I did pretty well on my quiz. Came back and thought about important things. Went to racquetball. Played well. It was a really good day. My emotions have been all over the place lately but, today, it seemed like all of that was over. And to think, it was only eleven.
And then it happened. God and life slapped me in the face. And not in a bad way at all, it was just tough and unexpected. And thus God reminded me about happiness and joy. If I'm just going to float along in life, affected by the parts of my day, I'm never going to be happy. Instead, I'm going to have to work for my joy. It's all about the attitudes we have.
The day has turned out better since then, but I had to immediately turn to God for strength. How great He is to never abandon me to my own emotions and to carry me when I can't do it myself.
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