Moving on Up

First of all, to whomever checks my blog regularly (because I can see the visits on my blog tracker) thank you for your patience. Sorry that it takes so long to post and that they aren't always great. :-) Anyway, on to the real topic.

Insomnia is something I've dealt with on and off for years. A lot of times I spend it just staring at the ceiling, but others I decide to get up and be productive. So far tonight I've done all the dishes, consolidated the pantry, and begun unpacking the boxes in my apartment (yes, I've been here for over a year and haven't unpacked everything yet. . .). As I was unpacking a random box stuck in the back of my closet, I came across a manila envelope addressed by one Emily Nichols.

It took me by surprise because I had no idea what it was. Upon opening it, I found all of the messages and notes Emily had sent me along with a few photos of us together. Suddenly, it all came rushing back. Two years ago when we broke up, I placed it in the box because I was unsure if we would get back together or not. After it became clear we would not, I decided to keep it until I was "emotionally stable" enough to handle throwing it out: it was going to be symbolic of me moving on. I guess I had forgotten about it until now.

After the initial shock, I began rereading the messages and I couldn't help but smile. Smile at the memories that returned, the inside jokes that were shared, and the silly drawings included. And suddenly I realized, I didn't have that pit in my stomach that has heretofore accompanied thoughts of Emily. I could look at the pictures and read the notes without feeling terrible. And as I realized this, I began to appreciate the notes even more. Emily was always very encouraging: that was one of the things I most liked about her. I smiled all the while because I realized (through no insight of my own) that even though we weren't together anymore, the things she said were true.

So I guess the envelope has served its purpose. Not only did it mark my moving on, it also brought a smile to my face and lifted me up in a time where I needed some encouragement. As much pain as I went through and as lost as I felt, I will forever be grateful for all the change Emily brought to my life. Just goes to show that God likes taking the broken pieces of our lives and making something beautiful out of them. And with that, I bid you adieu; the bathroom's not going to clean itself.