Late Night Thoughts with MaAuLu

This blog is twofold. First of all, I’m a terrible communicator. It usually comes on the tail end of being sick/not feeling well, but always carries over for a long time. A few weeks ago I got sick after eating some slightly undercooked chicken (thanks broken oven). It didn’t last very long, but I was supposed to be helping a friend out on those days. It likely wouldn’t have been a huge deal (she’s pretty forgiving), but, like always, I didn’t really communicate what was happening and kind of just left her out to dry. This inevitably leads into a cycle of shame/avoidance that can lead to not talking with friends for a while. This of course leads to feelings of loneliness which just continue spiraling in a downward pit. Needless to say, it’s not been a very fun past couple of weeks. In any event, sorry for not staying in contact. To Bethany especially, I’m sorry I couldn’t help with your students after I had promised to be there. :-(

Part Deux:

I’m not really a fan of venting, but sometimes you just gotta.

I hate double standards. I hate them. They’re stupid, unfair, and unjustifiable. Whether they be societal, ethical, or relational, not much makes me more upset than double standards.

It’s not right to tell a girl to be careful what she wears so as not to attract unwanted attention and NOT teach a boy to respect women no matter what. If I would ever be “ judgmental” or “stereotypical” to a druggie, homosexual, alcoholic, Muslim, or black, etc… person, I would be labeled as a terrible person and possibly even levied with a hate crime and yet, it IS completely acceptable to judge me for being a Christian. That’s messed up. There’s something wrong in society today where more people don’t see how unfair these behaviors are. More than that, these attitudes are often further perpetuated in the news and media and the people who should be the ones to steer America back to where it needs to be (let’s be honest, this should be everyone but we know it’s not) are exactly the people who are more often than not on the receiving end of this treatment.

While these double standards may be the most outrageous/infuriating, I think the relational ones are often the hardest to deal with. A prime example would be the family that I kinda sorta live with (they’re in the house attached to my apartment). The house is comprised of a husband and wife, their two (soon to be three!!!!) children, his mother, and his sister. I’ve known these people for over three years and they are quite honestly some of my favorite in the whole world. There’s not much I wouldn’t do for them. If I were lying in a hospital bed dying and they sent me a call or text saying they needed help with something, you better believe I’m finding the closest wheel chair and rolling out the door. We’ve had a lot of good and fun times together, but, rather unfortunately, we are human and we’re all doomed to disappoint each other every now and again.

With the exception of Matty (the sister) all of us in the house are pretty laid back when it comes to social activities. If they want to hang out at a certain time, it most likely isn’t going to happen until 45 minutes to an hour after the originally designated time. I’m 100% okay with that. I’m happy to spend any amount of time with them. Matty is not of this opinion. Be it her natural tilt or the military training, she might possibly be the most punctual person I have ever met and she expects everyone else to do likewise. Needless to say, this can sometimes cause problems. However, (again with the imperfect world thing), there have been times where she’s been late or had to reschedule plans we’ve had. And you know what? never once did I ever get upset, passive aggressive, or even unpleasant about it. As I’ve said, it really doesn’t bother me. You would think this would earn me some brownie points/understanding in return, right? Nope. If I’m late to something, we don’t speak for (at least) a few days. The most recent offense, I had to reschedule something a little later (because a third party who was also attending needed the time moved). We haven’t really spoken since. That was two months ago. In that time, she’s sent me two texts, both asking if she and her uncle could borrow my bike to go on a ride.

The second major/most recent offense has to do with disturbing the peace. The walls/floors in this house are awful (in more than one sense). Last week, a little excess water from their kitchen sink seeped through the floor, collapsed a ceiling tile in my bedroom, and proceeded to cascade nasty water/tile infused filth on my bed, blankets, pillows, and all. Probably the worst part of it is how thin they are. When they’re sitting around the dinner table having a normal conversation, I can hear them in my living room as if they were sitting next to me. It’s bad. They also have two small children who, as young people are wont to do, love running around. This of course reverberates throughout my entire apartment. When Aaron was living with me, he constantly complained about it. It’s a fair complaint, especially when the kids get up early on the weekends and all you want to do is sleep in.  I also get hot very easily and all the thermostat control is in their part of the building. We “share” internet but the router is on their side. If they decide to move it (which happens quite a bit when he has friends over) whatever I’m doing just gets dropped without so much as a warning. If there’s a signal problem, they try to move obstructions out of the way, but there’s not a whole lot they can do. If they blow a fuse (which happens a lot in this rickety place), all of my power is cut off unless they remember they have to flip my switch as well. All in all, there’s a lot going on I could be understandably irked about. However, it’s been a year and a half and I’ve not said one word about any of it. There are downsides, but they’re not really things to blow your cool over. All in all, I’m lucky to have the housemates I do.

Last night, a friend and I had dinner at Applebees. The wait was fairly long and the food was also pretty slow so we didn’t make it back until 11:45. We walked into the apartment in the midst of conversation and within 15 seconds there were two knocks on the wall. It sounded like someone may have accidentally opened a door too fast or something so, after a brief pause to see if anything was going to follow, we resumed conversation. Ten seconds later, there was yelling through the wall. Catching the hint that we might be a little loud, we bunkered down to play a game and talked in quieter tones. At 2:20, about 12 minutes from the end of our last game (aka bed time); there was an agitated knock at the door. Reluctant because I knew what was about to transpire, I got up to answer the door. Low and behold, Ima (mother in Hebrew) was there too chew us out about how loud we were. And by chew out, I mean the whole kit and caboodle. She’s one of the sweetest old ladies I’ve ever known but I heard an explicative or two (and not minor ones). After apologizing as best we could, we went to sleep, but I just laid there thinking about what had just transpired.

Yes, we were probably a little too noisy (we had toned it down but it’s easy to be carried away during a game). Yes, it was late. Yes, most normal people sleep at 2 a.m. On the flipside, this is the only time we’ve had this problem. If I wanted to compile a list of “offenses” to privacy/convenience/the rental agreement, mine would definitely top theirs by quite a bit. Maybe I’m wrong for thinking forgiveness/understanding extended by one party should be (at least partially) reciprocated by another, but, in any event, a first offense should not have elicited such a harsh reaction. She came back and apologized today and I assured her it was fine (again, we shouldn’t have been so loud and no, I honestly was not offended), but I can’t help but view Ima in a slightly different way now. It’s going to take some more processing and evaluating, but it’s been bugging me all day and I couldn’t really sleep until I typed it out.

Hopefully I’ll be able to stay in better contact now. And hopefully I’ll blog more. xD