Friends. That word can mean a lot. I have always struggled with friends. Two of my strengths on the StrengthsQuest test are Includer and Connectedness. I like seeing how things can connect and using those connections to include all those around me in whatever I'm doing. These traits have allowed me to fit in with almost anyone around. In high school I was a "member" of all of the stereotypical groups: jocks, geeks, nerds, outcasts, Church kids, I fit into all of them. This is both a good and a bad thing. I'm able to identify with almost anyone, however, this strength can also be a weakness.
Because I can fit in almost anywhere, I cannot become as strongly connected with people. Think about it. If you are a jock and nothing but a jock, the only people you can hang out with are other jocks. Therefore, you're going to spend a lot of time with and grow very close to all of the other jocks. I on the other hand, will spend some time with the jocks, some with the nerds, etc.. I often feel both comfortable in a group and an outsider at the same time. Kind of the "lonely in a crowd of people" concept. And that is a tough place to be.
There are people I would consider my closest friends. However, I doubt they would say the same about me. Sure, I'm a friend, perhaps even a good friend, but they are much closer to others than with me. And yet, I cannot fault them for that. I am bad at opening up and sharing myself with others. Often times, this holds them at a distance. So is it their "fault" they're not closer to me or have I been sending signals that I don't want to get any closer?
And suddenly another thought came to my mind. What if this is the very reason I skip around between groups so much? Perhaps I fear getting close to others so I become surface friends with everyone which allows me the freedom to hang out, have fun, skip around, and avoid showing the ugliness that is my human failures. Hmmm... Something to think about indeed.
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