So lately I've been thinking a lot about change and what motivates us to do so. Often times, change is prompted in part by those we love. And this is a perfectly natural and healthy thing. In dating and marriage, each person needs to make concessions to the other, to make changes for the good of the relationship as a whole. And yet, I feel these aren't the best kind of changes that can be made.
I know that there are a lot of changes in my life that need to be made and I can approach them from two different angles. The first angle is to prove to someone, be it my friends or my ex-girlfriends or my family or my boss, that I can be better. And, again, this isn't necessarily bad. However, the problem is that I'm not taking ownership of the change. I'm only changing to gain something (love, approval, respect, etc...) from those around me. For too long this is how I have viewed change.
The second angle, the one I am now starting to take (only with the grace of and strength from God), is to change for myself. I want to change so I can be better. I want to grow closer to Him because I know I need to and, more importantly, I know that's what he is calling me to. I have had to remind myself several times the past two days that I can't make the changes. No matter how hard I try, I can't make myself the perfect man. It requires me going to God daily to be filled, listening to His voice, and following where He leads me.
So yes, I will be changing because I think the people in my life deserve more. I want to give a girlfriend all that she deserves. I want deep, meaningful friendships with people. I want to give my best at everything I do. And that's going to take growth and change. However, I'm not doing it for those reasons. These things are all great reminders and they certainly give me strength to persevere. However, I'm changing for me. Because I hear God's calling in my life and I certainly never want to let Him down.
Matt Lutz gained the power of self respect
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