I don't. Six weeks ago, when I was distraught about my relationship with God, I got to sit down with a good friend (Kyle Kunzmann). Among many other things, he recommended to me that I read "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. He even let me borrow one of his copies. The book is a collection of short devotionals based on one or two verses of scripture. There's one for every day (kind of like those flip calendars with quotes and stuff). I don't always read it on the day I'm supposed to, but I've done really well (and made up all of those that I've missed). I really felt like sharing today's (it's based on Matthew 11:28):
"Isn't it humiliating to be told that we must come to Jesus! Think of the things about which we will not come to Jesus Christ. If you want to know how real you are, test yourself by these words - 'Come to Me...' In every dimension in which you are not real, you will argue or evade the issue altogether rather than come; you will go through sorrow rather than come; and you will do anything rather than come the last lap of the race of seemingly unspeakable foolishness and say, 'Just as I am, I come.' As long as you have even the least bit of spiritual disrespect, it will always reveal itself in the fact that you are expecting God to tell you to do something very big, and yet all He is telling you to do is to 'Come...'
'Come to Me...' When you hear those words, you will know that something must happen in you before you can come. The Holy Spirit will show you what you have to do, and it will involve anything that will uproot whatever is preventing you from getting through to Jesus. And you will never get any further until you are willing to do that very thing. The Holy spirit will search out that one immovable stronghold within you, but He cannot budge it unless you are willing to let Him do so.
How often have you come to god with your requests and gone away thinking, 'I've really received what I wanted this time!' And yet you go away with nothing, while all the time God has stood with His hands outstretched not only to take you but also for you to take Him. Just think of the invincible, unconquerable, and untiring patience of Jesus, who lovingly says, 'Come to Me...'"
I think it's funny that this should be the devotion I read today. Haven't I been thinking about this the past few weeks? Didn't I just recently begin to understand (although admittedly to a much smaller degree than these words explained) this very concept? God will constantly reinforce His will for our lives. If we would just wait and listen for His words, we would know this to be true.
I think I've discovered what it is the Holy Spirit is calling me to give up. And Chambers is right, I don't want to give it up and I never will on my own. And that's the very reason God sends His gift to us, through His Son (and also the reason He places convictions upon our hearts). So, I've decided to finally give it up. I know I'm not going to be able to do it on my own, but, I'm okay with that. It's going to take a while, but I want to be able to get through to Jesus, so I've determined to give it my best, and to ask His help when (not if) my best isn't good enough.
What's your immovable stronghold? Ready to overcome? I pray that you are. :-)
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